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You’ve found the love of your life. An elegant fairytale wedding gives way to the “can’t keep my hands of you” honeymoon phase. After a time, you decide you’re both ready to move to the next stage of your adult, married life. You are ready for children. You have a few romantic, sexy nights together, and BAM, a few months later you are pregnant and discussing baby names. Right?

Wrong! For many couples, realizing parenthood is the ultimate test of the strength and fortitude of their relationship. During this rollercoaster of uncertainty, self-doubt, blame and guilt swirl colliding with hope, expectation and disappointment. Meticulous tracking of the basal body temperature and obsessive monitoring of the cervical mucus has you certain of the ovulation schedule, so you can achieve the exact, proper timing of intercourse. Far from the intimate, passionate romps of your past, a perfunctory sex routine has been assumed. Conception is now its only purpose.

Armed with the knowledge that you have painstakingly composed this schedule; you ponder whether this will finally be the month you are blessed with the elusive second line. When the expected date of your menstrual cycle passes you allow cautious optimism. Perhaps a home pregnancy test is in order you think. You prance confidently to the family planning aisle of the local pharmacy before heading home. Your tear through the packaging with fervor. Making your way to the bathroom, you allow yourself to drift off with hope for the future and a soft half smile curls to your left cheek.

Pulling your pants and underwear down you prepare to perform the test, but suddenly you cannot move. A lead weight has overtaken your body as your mind fights to hold on to a reality that has been once again decimated.

Vicious and uncaring, the faint pink blood staining underwear wields the first devastating upset, as your visions of baby are dashed once again, as they have been for months, maybe years before. An evening of tears, and wine, and contemplating on what might have been, give way to a morning full of continued hormone swings, headaches and bloating. Days of heavy bleeding and excruciating menstrual cramps swoop in to deal another crushing blow. A callous dismissal of your delicate state and of your dreams of parenthood.

Unfortunately for many women and their partners who seek alternative fertility options and paths to parenthood, this painfully all-too-common experience, is simply the beginning of what can become an all-consuming, physically ruinous, financially and emotionally draining quest to complete their families. Despite the incredible advancements in the treatment of infertility, the path is one that remains long, expensive, mentally exhausting, and sadly does not always yield the ultimate prize of parenthood.


Wishing you all PEACE, LOVE, & BABY DUST.

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Published inThe Winding Path of Persistence

One Comment

  1. Rebecca Hofmann Rebecca Hofmann

    The struggle is real. Wishing you PEACE, LOVE, & BABY DUST!

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