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Journeys on the Winding Path: Subscriber Stories- “Claire’s Story”

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This week’s story comes from Claire R. We thank her for her bravery in sharing her story with us in her own words.

Claire’s Story:

“At around 18 years old, I was bleeding very heavily on my cycle and in lots of pain. I was under the impression it was normal. At 19 years old I was in a relationship with a someone I grew up with. Sex was often painful, doctors told me to try different positions and perscribed me pain killers for my periods. At 20 years old I miscarried our first child, that was the beginning of the end of for us. I tried desperately to conceive again but it didn’t happen. In a relationship break, he slept with someone else and got her pregnant. I couldn’t face helping him raise a child that wasn’t ours after losing our baby.

At 21, I miscarried again, with a new partner. A heartbeat was seen but it was very low and not a viable pregnancy. I was basically watching my baby die. Again, this destroyed another relationship after trying to conceive again and getting no where.At 23, I entered into another relationship, and had another early miscarriage 18 months into the relationship. I left him as he was very controlling, and like to think that loss what a blessing in disguise and my angels telling me- no mum, this isn’t the one.

At 25, I had another early miscarriage. When I found out I was pregnant my partner proposed to me, we were set to marry within 4 months but I lost the baby at 2 months. We still got married. 3 months after that I had a laparoscopy and was diagnosed with cysts, polyps and endometriosis, but was given a hycosy to help my chances. 2 months later we got pregnant again. This time it was an ectopic pregnancy that almost cost me my life. I was misdiagnosed. Told the bleeding I was having was normal! 2 weeks later I was having emergency surgery. I lost one of my tubes. (Left) after that my husband and I tried for almost 2 years with no avail and when we started treatment for ivf (tests, and another hycosy) I noticed he wasn’t intimate anymore, we hardly spoke. I asked him if he wanted to divorce, he said yes. It was amicable. And in November 2015 he left.

A friend of 14 years, and a man who I had feelings for since I was 16 when I met him (he was 22) asked me out for a drink to cheer me up shortly after my ex left. He knew all my past, and wasn’t put off. We very quickly fell in love. He asked what the chances were of conceiving so I told him. It was very very low, the hycosy I had where the doctors said if it was going to work, it would within a few months was over 6 months ago, so near impossible I thought. Mothers day 2016, rushed to hospital by GP with suspected appendicitis, wasn’t that but large cyst on my right ovary. The only side with a tube, my only slight hope. We were devastated. 2 or so weeks later, my partner noticed I was eating more. ‘I’m comfort eating,’ I’d say. My breasts hurt. ‘I’m due [for] my period’ my glands flared up ‘I must be coming down with something’. ‘TAKE A TEST’ he said. ‘No. There’s no way I am, it’s impossible. It’s my body playing tricks’.

Easter Sunday 4am: let’s get this over with…..2 lines! 2 lines! I thought Dave was asleep but he heard me creep to the bathroom and was already awake when I came running in! We were both over the moon. Then it sank in. 2 lines. It’s not the first time you’ve seen it. Every time it’s been a disaster.

Called the doctor, scan booked for week 7. Date arrived. I am shaking sat in the waiting room. I go in….its quiet, I am already crying. ‘Look, there’s your baby’. I look at the screen, and there she is. My beautiful little heartbeat. Fluttering away so perfectly. I feel relief, joy, unconditional love. Dave cries also. The next 34 weeks [were] filled with anxiety, every twinge, every scan I expected the worst, but she made it. My beautiful rainbow. My miracle. She was worth this hard journey, I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, but I wouldn’t change any of it.”

 

Wishing you all PEACE, LOVE, & BABY DUST.

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2 Comments

  1. Hayley Hayley

    Ive just read this in tears.. i already felt a connection with you when i first met you in my home ready for your rainbow shoot.. im so happy for you when we were pouring our hearts out together with me saying 8 years we have tried and failed then now im having my rainbow i cant believe it.. im so happy for you your stories you sent me and your words gave me hope i hope xxxx

  2. Rebecca Hofmann Rebecca Hofmann

    Hayley, I was so thrilled when Claire agreed to share her story with our subscribers! She is an inspiration, indeed! Congratulations on your Rainbow baby, as well! Peace, Love, & Baby Dust!

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